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Shed Club Guide to Teenagers

I had the best time at work yesterday. A group of us ladies stood (at appropriate social distance) and shared our experiences of raising teenagers. It was brilliant. Like an AA group we vented, shared, wept a teeny bit and roared with laughter. As we went about our work we all felt much better. All except one colleague who has small children who are still lovely, delightful and helpful - she went a bit ashen.

So what were the 'pearls of wisdom':

  1. Choose your battles. Try not to use the 'f' bomb in every sentence. Lowers the tone.

  2. Walk away - do not engage with the enemy - they will beat you with youth and hormones. (Although my personal arsenal of hormones is well stocked as I hurtle toward the M).

  3. Do not let them press your buttons. They know them. They made them.

  4. Wine.

  5. Respond don't react. (Hard but worth it).

  6. Gin.

  7. Give controlled choices. Give an A and B option that you have created. Both options should achieve what you wanted in the first place.

  8. Prosecco (Code name - Lady Petrol)

  9. Remember and hold close to your heart that it will get better.

  10. I am saving the best until last. One colleague had the best retort: "I made you. I can end you".

Lockdown is a trial for us all. Having 3 teenagers myself I sympathise so much that they are feeling trapped and bored. Hopefully we will be on 'Covid Remand' soon then start a pathway to freedom!

And finally ... I guess one day when they have all left home I will miss moaning about muddy shoes in the hall, mould in mugs, three tonnes of washing, no band width for me to watch Netflix, no milk in the fridge, no biscuits in the pantry and no toilet roll in any loo .... As embarrassing as I am to them I will make sure I tell them how much I love them today and teach them how to make me a Negroni. Chin Chin!

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