top of page

How hot in bed are you?

It's wrong to boast but I am so hot in bed.

I can steam up windows quicker than Jack and Rose on Titanic. I am hotter than a Poptart on white BBQ coals on Venus during an intergalactic heatwave. If my personal thermostat was an amplifier it would be on eleven.

I think I am on the turn.

Let's look at the evidence:

  1. I can no longer wear flannelette pyjamas. They are a garment of torture to me and a thing of the past.

  2. I sweat and pant in bed without the use of any electrical devices.

  3. I open windows at night in February.

  4. My partner has suggested these:

Except I look more like this:

Like most things in my life I fret, catastrophize, Google, fret again then ask for help.

I will let you know how I get on ...

Ring Ring .... "Oh hello can I order 30 tablets of MenoCool Black Cohosh. 30 tables of Sage Leaf. 60 tablets of Femlieve Agnus Castus and 6 litres of Vodka. Yes 6 Litres. You deliver? Marvellous".

Until all that gets delivered thank goodness for Calming Spritzer! I just need to make it in a gallon sized drum and link it up to a bedroom sprinkler ...

Night night!

(Log in to comment - surely I am not the only one........)

50 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page