Home Schooling

Home School - Day Three

'I HATE YOU. I'M NOT DOING IT!

YOU. ARE. THE. WORST. TEACHER. EVER!'

‘Worst? Is that a noun or an adjective?'

‘ARGHHH I DON’T KNOW! YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE!'

‘Is that a fact? Can you tell me any other facts about... I don’t know … the Roman Empire perhaps?'

'NO!! ALL MY FRIENDS GET TO SCROLL INSTAGRAM WHENEVER THEY WANT.'

'Oh really? How many? The whole class? Can you multiply that number by 12?'

‘NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!’

'I will … If you can say that sentence in Spanish?'

‘ARGHHHHHHHHHH!’

‘When you just slammed your bedroom door and the picture fell off, would that suggest the pressure differential produced by the unbalanced airflow was the cause? Mum????? If I get on with my work will you PLEASE leave me alone?’

‘ABSOLUTELY QVC HAVE LIZ EARLE EASY PAY ON’

Wow - what a couple of weeks. Spring Term 2021 has certainly started with a bang! Or should that be: 'like a sledge hammer to the head' - teachers of the nation!'. Thanks Gavlar.

So if you are a parent with school age children, how is this whole learning from home thing going?

As an Infant School teacher I have made many videos from my homemade broom cupboard (minus Gordon) since March last year. Videoing yourself is very self-evaluating. I am absolutely sure that I need extensive botox, Mariah Carey lighting, hair extensions, elocution and a full time make up artist.

As for my own children they are having daily Zoom lessons from Secondary school and College which thankfully they manage very well all by themselves. I did try to join in with my daughter's PE lesson but my green leotard/pink tights combo and propensity to 'throw down some shapes' was not appreciated. Think next week I'll wear Fila tracksuit and bucket hat.

In my house the only issue is when I have to ask ( I mean yell loudly 8 or 9 times) my children to come off Wifi when I upload my videos onto the school's Youtube site. I also get a teenie weenie bit cross when when I glare at the loading symbol turning round and round and not moving from 25% on Netflix. I mean Bridgerton over-rules Year 8 Maths right?

Seriously the lockdown and pandemic has changed our lives. My son missed his GCSEs

and will never get his prom. That right of passage has gone. My daughter had a very disjointed Year 7 and Year 8 looks to be going the same.

My admiration for Headteachers, teachers, teaching assistants, school admin and kitchen/site staff is huge. I am so proud of all my colleagues at school who have been consistently fucking amazing since this whole goddam pandemic infected us last year.

So let's raise a glass to the teachers. (As a teacher myself I've just made an excuse to drink).

Our country may be riddled like Dave coaches but if we stay in and adhere to the rules we will get through this.

In conclusion I write this post for my step sister Clare who is currently home schooling Ella (Year 1) and Frank (Year 3).

You are fabulous Clare. And as your helpful older step sister I am sending you these:

And as a teacher a range of books:

And lastly (and shamelessly plugging my wares) some Potting Shed goodies!

How is 2021 so far for you?